6 Characteristics Of Absent Parents

Absent parents are parents who are unable to connect emotionally with their children. There are many reasons for this and it is psychologically complex to determine them. 

Characteristics of absent parents

An absent parent is defined as someone who cannot or does not want to be involved with their child. The absence of the parent’s role leaves deep wounds and an emotional vacuum in the child. Although it usually refers to the father, it is increasingly common for absent mothers.

Absent parents can submit to one or more of the conditions that we will explain below. If you recognize yourself in this, it is time to change something.

Seek help to reconnect with your children before the consequences are irreversible.

1. Impose your judgment

Usually a father is physically present. His emotional detachment is expressed in imposing his will and his point of view on his children, without listening to his family’s arguments.

You don’t care about the family. You don’t know if you don’t appreciate what your child is thinking, although you may not recognize it. You demand and force the achievement of high goals but you do not recognize the effort. Nor do you encourage positive actions.

It causes disproportionate punishment for the age of the children.

2. They are apathetic to their children’s needs

While they provide economic security, they are not concerned with their children’s interests or traits.

They don’t get involved in rules or setting boundaries. Plus, they don’t have the ability to create space to spend time with the kids and do fun things with them.

Also, they are unable to give a compliment or reprimand in time. In general, this puts the entire weight of the education of the children on the shoulders of the mother.

They are not very communicative and their responsibilities are limited to taking care of the family.

3. Emotional Immaturity

This is the kind of dad who refuses to grow up. He wants to be a teenager forever. Children are a burden to their lifestyle. They do not have the maturity to make decisions and set the boundaries that children need.

Having children is easy for them because they don’t commit to the responsibility of parenting. They spend more time with themselves than with their children.

In addition, they cannot be a positive role model for their children. After all, their priorities are the satisfaction of their own needs. If this doesn’t work, they get angry.

4. Doesn’t have time

He is the father who is not at home for work reasons.  He may not want to be an absent father at all. Or he may even come from a home with a positive and loving father.

He may be delegating the role of father because he has to meet a demanding work schedule to earn a living.

While technology offers options to be closer to the children and to ‘share’ interest in the children’s growth, this is not enough. The child has to spend time with his father.

The love one shows through social networks or applications such as WhatsApp, is not enough. He also needs to show it physically, with hugs and his presence.

5. Irresponsible

He is not involved in the emotional or sentimental, nor in the economic support of the children. No matter how much the mother pushes to take on a greater role in the lives of their children, he does not succeed.

Behind an irresponsible parent may be a child who was also raised by an absent parent. However, this does not justify his behavior. He is the one who denies paternity, or who disappears after a breakup or divorce.

6. The Domineering or Vengeful Mother

Always ask mothers who complain that their partners are absent parents if they have allowed their presence. Yes, indeed, behind some absent parents are overbearing mothers.

In addition to those who take on all the responsibilities of parenting and education, there are others who deny parents the opportunity to attend.

For example, the breakup of a relationship can lead some women to attack the father of the children. It’s a kind of revenge that isn’t always taken on purpose.

It doesn’t make it any less negative for the kids though. Although the father wants to be present and somehow be with his children, the woman denies every possibility.

What are the consequences of an absent parent?

Being raised by an absent parent has serious consequences for children:

• Difficulty relating to others.
• Difficulty dealing with own emotions.
• Inability to follow rules and respect authority.
• Inability to perform the authoritarian role on your own.
• Lack of will or inability to carry out his dreams or projects.

Responsible, loving and positive parenting is not only essential for children to grow up healthy, confident and with a good self-image.

It also gives you the opportunity to heal your own wounds if you grew up with an absent parent.