7 Tips To Find Out If You’re In A Relationship With A Manipulator
If you are in a relationship with a manipulator, understand that this is not something to be light-hearted with. It’s a sensitive issue, because these types of toxic people could be very dangerous.
They may even display the characteristics of a sociopath or psychopath. In most cases, they only look after their own interests without regard for others.
In this article, we’ll give you seven tips to help identify a manipulator. If you’re in this situation, it’s important to figure out why you’re exposing yourself to this and to seek help to break up the relationship.
How do you know if you’re in a relationship with a manipulator?
1. Manipulators are always the victims
When you’re in a relationship with a manipulator, it doesn’t matter who is really to blame for an argument. They will always make sure that they themselves are the victim. If they really are the culprits themselves, they can only finally accept after an endless discussion that the blame is not on you.
Chances are, however, that they will always find a better argument or other way to shift the blame. If you don’t apologize, they will portray you as a person who never takes the blame.
However, they will blame you for the pain you cause by “not forgiving them” or some other kind of excuse. The key is that no matter what happens, they won’t be able to acknowledge that they played a part in it.
2. They focus on your shortcomings and weaknesses
To make sure you stay with them, they will keep reminding you of shortcomings that you may not even have. d Over time, however, you begin to believe that it is true.
When you’re in a relationship with a manipulator, he makes you feel like he’s the only person you can love and that he’s the only person in the world who will love you despite your shortcomings. This will make you doubt yourself.
Your insecurities can become so great that you only feel safe when he is with you. That doesn’t break the relationship, no matter the damage it causes, because of the fear it has instilled in you.
3. They create resentment towards others
A surefire way for a manipulative partner to make sure you’re only his is to make up stories or cause fights between people.
You may be arguing with your family and friends. Sometimes your partner can become so convincing that you just believe him. Then you can even start to distance yourself from your social life.
If you are in a relationship with a manipulator, you may become very lonely, as your partner may encourage you to distance yourself from everyone else in your life, even your closest friends.
4. A manipulator reacts aggressively when you express concerns
When they are under social pressure and feel like they are losing an argument, a manipulator’s personality often changes very suddenly.
Although they try to portray themselves as calm and serene, their reaction is often very negative when they feel targeted, mocked or labeled a failure.
You will notice changes in their facial expressions and voice, and they can be extremely aggressive. In the worst cases, they can even become physically violent.
When you’re in a relationship with a manipulator and you see that this person is about to lose control, it’s best to keep your distance so they don’t take their emotions out on you. In these cases, you should try to seek help immediately.
5. They make your decisions for you and make you think they are yours
It is common for manipulators to give you a choice of two or more options. It may even be that not making a decision seems like an option.
However, they won’t allow you to make the decision if it’s different from what they want. Instead, they look for a way to subtly lead you to the option they want.
The way they do this is by making the other options seem negative, risky or just a bad choice. In turn, they will come up with good arguments so that the choice they want seems the best option.
Why are they doing this? If they make you feel like you’ve made the decision and you realize it’s a mistake, they can blame you and don’t have to take the blame themselves.
6. They do everything they can to keep you from leaving them
Manipulators will always look for ways to show your affection. They take you away from your family, buy you beautiful things and take you to expensive places. Everything to make sure you never leave them again. They are able to hear you, but they will not listen to you.
All this will make the relationship seem perfect. However, if you contradict any of their decisions or make a decision without consulting them, you will discover a completely different person.
7. They are impulsive and cross boundaries
If you date a manipulator, you will find that if they feel like they are losing control of the situation, they are able to do things that hurt you, such as humiliate you or not talk to you.
Manipulators are often people who are even capable of threatening to show intimate photos or videos. They can also threaten to endanger your family. Unfortunately, this situation can escalate to physical violence in the relationship.
After reading these points, ask yourself if you are in a relationship with a manipulator? If you recognize at least four of the behaviors mentioned in this article in your partner, end the relationship as soon as possible, because they can be really dangerous people.