8 Questions To Ask Before Starting A New Relationship

Starting a new relationship can be challenging, especially when you see a pattern of failed relationships in your rearview mirror.

If you’re feeling defeated and don’t feel like starting over with a new person, you may need to reflect on your habits when it comes to first dates.

Here are 8 questions to ask yourself if you want to make sure your next relationship is healthier, happier, and longer-term.

1. Am I really ready to get into a new relationship?

Relationships require time and energy to work. Make sure your current lifestyle gives you the opportunity to give 100% to a new relationship.

If you have just started a new job, make the decision to pursue your dream. If you’re in the middle of a family crisis, it might not be the best idea to head into a relationship with a new person.

Wait for the storm in your life to clear before inviting another ship to sail your waters.

2. Am I really over my ex?

Ask yourself this question first. If your answer is no, then you are definitely not ready to start a new relationship.

Rebound relationships are not only destined to fail, they are also a great way to damage your new partner’s self-image and hurt his/her feelings. No one wants to feel like they are second and they don’t deserve it.

The best way to get over your ex is to work on yourself. Find out what didn’t work in the relationship. That way you will discover what you need to change in your own life to start a new, successful relationship.

3. What worked and what didn’t work in my previous relationships?

There may be many reasons that a relationship has failed. It’s important to make a list of things that didn’t work, such as distance, trust, or honesty.

This also helps you to look for solutions objectively. On the other hand, the positive aspects of a healthy functional relationship can also be important to consider.

If it is difficult to identify what went well in your previous relationships, look around and learn from the relationships of others. Act out what aspects you are looking into a new relationship.

4. What kind of relationship am I looking for?

In other words,  how serious do I want the next relationship to be? This is an essential question for your own well-being and that of your future partner.

Whether you want a fun flirt or someone to settle down with, you need to be clear about it. Whatever the case, you should discuss the answer with your potential partner before starting the relationship. This prevents you from wasting time and puts you on the same page.

5. Does he or she share my standards and values?

Just because someone has the same taste in movies, books, food, or activities doesn’t mean they’re perfect for you. You’ll have to dig further.

Does he/she also share your beliefs? We are not just talking about religion or politics here. We are talking about how someone interacts with people and how they see the world.

Is the person passionate about what he/she does? If you are looking for a person to build your life with, what do you want them to teach your children? Is this the same as what you want for your children?

It is important to keep these things in mind.

6. What do I want to get out of this relationship?

Perhaps you are looking for support or want company. Or you long for real love. You may be looking for a best friend or just a “fun time.”

Again, you need to find out about these things before embarking on a new relationship. That’s the only way to tell if you’re going for the right reasons and whether your new partner will be able to give you what you really want or not.

7. Do I love myself?

It may sound cliche, but you can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself.

If you don’t consider yourself worthy enough for love, you may be rejecting the love they are trying to give you. This can be a blunder that, in addition to being painful, is also very frustrating for your partner.

8. Do I really want a relationship again?

Have you realized that you’ve been in a lot of relationships or that you’ve reached the point where you need to recover from all the broken relationships? Do you want to be alone for a while? If this is the case, you may have to follow your instincts and just do it.

Work through these questions to find out if you’re really ready. If so, go for it! It’s all about feeling good about what you’re doing.

Don’t rush to give your heart away if you really need time to recover  and spend time with yourself, to reflect and get to know yourself better.