A Hole In Your Heart: I’m Missing Something I Can’t Explain

I have a hole in my heart and I have no idea how it came to be. It’s an emotional hole that makes me feel inadequate and incomplete. I need to fill this with something, whatever. I feel empty and sad.

Having a hole in your heart is something that can happen when a loved one dies, after a breakup, or maybe after a disappointment. Pay attention. If this continues and you try to fill it up with people and stuff, you’re avoiding the real reason why you feel this emotional emptiness. 

An endless empty feeling

Many people try to fill an emotional gap with material things. This is when you make ill-considered purchases that later weigh on your conscience.

You spend money to distract yourself from what is hurting you. That’s  just a band-aid, though. It won’t solve your real problem. 

On the other hand, it won’t help you to fill the hole in your heart with other people either. They even try to manipulate and use you so that they don’t feel alone.

This is a big mistake, because it hurts not only others, but ultimately yourself. Unfortunately, this leads to a destructive and unfortunate situation.

The hole in your heart makes you desperate and makes you cling to something or someone who can offer you some form of relief right now. Frequently experiencing pain can lead to overeating or self-harm because the feeling is so unbearable that people afflicted with it look for a way to avoid the problem.

childhood

Your childhood, as you may already know, is an important period in your life. This is when emotional problems are created that can cause problems throughout your adult life. 

If you grew up in an unstructured family or if your parents have a troubled relationship, you may not have received the attention you needed. As a child you adapted to what you had.

Therefore, there may not be a visible impact when you are still young, but  when you grow up, the problem emerges.

The things you experience will explode in your life with more power than ever. They show how much effect this has actually had on you and how much trouble this is causing now.

Sometimes you don’t even remember your childhood because of these things. Therefore, seeing a therapist is very helpful. Therapy can help you find the root cause and roots of the problem. Your therapist will give you the right tools to get you back on the right path.

The hole in your heart will create more holes

No matter how hard you work to fill the holes, if you try to fill the hole in your heart with people, new clothes, or food, it won’t go away. 

You can get stuck in the relationship where you have the responsibility to be happy and still feel empty. Or you can buy all kinds of different things and look at this and realize that you still feel empty.

These patches don’t work. This leads to a vicious circle and causes fears. Sometimes when you’re in doubt, you’re afraid to ask for help, when it’s actually one of the best decisions you can make.

You can’t handle everything alone. Even though you know what’s going on with yourself, you may not have the right tools to choose a different path.

It’s time to stop filling this hole in your heart with unnecessary things and start blaming your parents. They have done their best. You are now responsible for your state of mind. Accept this and ask for help if you need it.

You need a push, a ‘you don’t have to do this alone’, to move on. In the end , we have all lost things at some point, but this does not mean that we should lose ourselves. 

The hole in your heart will leave you feeling empty if you don’t start to fill it with love for yourself.